He Cheated, But Was It Your Fault?

We often want to believe that men are dogs. They follow their dumbsticks, wherever it may lead them. Men see a pretty/sexy girl and their tongues roll out of their mouth with drool dripping from it like a rusty old faucet. Their penis pops out like a friggin’ lightning rod. Off they go sniffing after the hottie. But lets face it girls, we drool too! We may be a tad less obvious than men. Yet, when we see a hot guy our imagination runs wild as we envision a torrid love affair. The perfect man with the perfect body fulfilling our every need and desire. And yes sometimes we chase after them like little school girls hoping they will take notice. Although men are seemingly more sex driven than women, is that the only reason they turn to cheating? I think not. Needs are not being met!

Having an affair is a huge risk for someone to take when in a committed relationship. But when fully examined, who’s fault is it? More often than not, it spawns from dissatisfaction. Yes, this can be sexual dissatisfaction but it can also be from a deficient relationship. Let’s face it we all have a tendency to show our true selves after we feel comfortable enough.

Take for instance when you first start dating a guy. You do up your hair, make-up and go to the gym 5 times a week. Everything must be perfect, from your dyed or highlighted hair to the nail polish color on your toes. Bra’s are purchased from Victoria’s Secret to push and plumb up your boobs. We shave our underarms, legs and get our pubes waxed for that tight bikini look. Every inch of our body is spot on. Our clothing is meticulously selected and fitted to flatter our body. We gaze into his eyes and laugh at his nonsensical jokes. There may even be a tendency to fake that orgasim if need be. Let’s face it, we trick him into believing he is the center of our universe.

Ok, so now some time has passed and this has developed into a real relationship…maybe (dare I say the words) you love one another. Things become more relaxed, more casual. He’ll come over to watch the game rather than go out on an intimate date. He no longer sports a suit and tie, but rather jeans and a tee shirt. Sex is during half time which leaves no time for foreplay! You in turn begin to retreat from your usual ritual of primping for this special guy. Your roots begin to show, you skip the gym here and there, you’re wearing sweats, the hair on your legs is so long you can braid it. Victoria’s Secret gives way to granny panties. Pubes look like a mini fro from the 70’s, and the sex ain’t what it use to be, fake organism or not! Can you say: YUCK?

Yes “YUCK.” Things are always going to settle into somewhat of a routine. It won’t always be hearts and flowers. So are you going to throw in the towel and let yourself go? I say “Hell No.” This is a recipe for disaster girl, and it is looming just around the corner adorning a lacy little thong.

You have taken note recently that your special guy doesn’t come around as frequently. He doesn’t call or text you at all times of the day and night. Nor does compliment you or whisper dirty little innuendos in your ear. Can you smell it because something stinks!

Your suspicions become a reality when you get that call from your best friends sister. She informs you, “I saw Richie out at the bar last night dancing with Jezabel.” “They seemed pretty tight.”

Your head swirls as your scream out: “That lying, dirty, cheating, Bastard!” But is he really? Truth be told, you are not the same girl he pined after. However fake or embellished you initially presented yourself as, that is what he needs. Time to take inventory ladies.

First question to ask yourself is: “is this relationship worth saving?” Whether the answer is yes or no you still want to avoid such a disaster in the future. Next, what has changed? Obviously your upkeep has been compromised. What else? Are you a nagger, do you have a tendency to emasculate him? Have you had an open and honest conversation about having both your needs met? Communication is key here girl, you have got to get inside his head while giving him a glimpse into yours. I have found some enlighting information on: It would be in your best interest to check this out.

Remember…if he fell for the person you portrayed yourself as…that’s what he expects. When all the fake stuff comes off will he still want you? If you answer “probably not” then be yourself up front or you will be sending him to the arms (and bedroom) of another. A guy isn’t going to buy a Mercedes with a Chevy engine inside. If you are a Chevy then be the Chevy, STOP pretending you are a Mercedes, it will only cause you heartache in the long run.